Issue 58 - Hoax-Slayer Newsletter
Issue 58: January, 2006
This month in Hoax-Slayer:
Hoax-Slayer is a Free Monthly Web-Based Newsletter brought
to you by Brett Christensen The Hoax-Slayer Newsletter keeps you informed about the latest email hoaxes and current Internet scams. Hoax-Slayer also features
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Lead in Lipstick Alert - Cancer Causing Lipstick Hoax
Summary:Email claims that certain brands of lipstick contain dangerous amounts of lead and can cause cancer. The message includes a list of lipstick brands and instructions for testing lipsticks for lead content.
Status:Misleading and inaccurate, although a recent study indicates that some lipsticks do contain small amounts of lead.
Example:(Submitted, January 2006)
Lipstick Alert!!!!!!!!!!!!
If there is a female you care anything about, share this with her. I did!!!!!
I am also sharing this with the males on my email list, because they need to tell the females THEY care about as well!
Recently a brand called "Red Earth" decreased their prices from $67 to $9.90. It contained lead. Lead is a chemical which causes cancer.
The Brands which contain lead are:
1.. CHRISTIAN DIOR
2. LANCOME
3. CLINIQUE
4. Y.S.L
5. ESTEE LAUDER
6. SHISEIDO
7. RED EARTH (Lip Gloss)
8. CHANEL (Lip Conditioner)
9. MARKET AMERICA-MOTNES LIPSTICK.
The higher the lead content, the greater the chance of causing cancer.
After doing a test on lipsticks, it was found that the Y.S.L. lipstick contained the most amount of lead.
Watch out for those lipsticks which are supposed to stay longer. If your lipstick stays longer, it is because of the higher content of lead.
Here is the test you can do yourself:
1. Put some lipstick on your hand.
2. Use a Gold ring to scratch on the lipstick.
3. If the lipstick color changes to black then you know the lipstick contains lead.
Please send this information to all your girlfriends, wives and female family members. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center
Dioxin Carcinogens causes cancer, especially breast cancer.
Commentary:
This email forward warns that certain prominent brands of lipstick contain dangerous amounts of lead and can cause cancer in those who use them. Although a
2007 study by The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics has found that some lipsticks do have higher than expected levels of lead, this email forward is not related to that study and contains highly misleading and inaccurate information.
Health authorities worldwide have long known the dangers associated with lead exposure. Most have strict guidelines that regulate the level of lead in consumer products, including cosmetics. Regulatory and industry bodies such as the
FDA in the US, the
CTPA in the UK, the
European Commission and similar institutions in other nations control the substances that can be added to cosmetic products.
The current version of the email claims that the information originates from the Walter Reed Army Medical Center. However, this claim is highly suspect. There is no mention of such a warning published on the
Walter Reed Army Medical Center website. Furthermore, this apparent endorsement and the mention of Dioxin Carcinogens also appear in
another email hoax that warns of links between plastic use and cancer. Apparently, the Walter Reed reference was copied verbatim from one hoax email and tacked on to the other in a fruitless attempt to add a measure of credibility.
Another aspect of the email also casts doubt on the authenticity of its claims. While long-term lead exposure can indeed lead to cancer, it is also indicated in other serious health issues such as stroke and kidney disease. Even short-term exposure can have adverse health effects, including impact on blood cell chemistry and developmental issues in children. In spite of this, the "warning" focuses purely on the potential cancer link and ignores other equally serious lead related health issues. It is doubtful that a genuine, medically endorsed warning message would mention only one of the health risks inherent in lead exposure.
The "test" outlined in the message is also highly misleading. According to
information available from New Zealand's COSMETIC TOILETRY & FRAGRANCES ASSOCIATION, the "reactions described in the email occur when the test is done with any metal and just using plain wax which is a core component of most lipsticks." My own random testing revealed that dark streaks appear to be left in a variety of substances by a variety of metals, even copper on plain old candle wax. Thus an apparently "positive" result for this test does not effectively indicate the presence of lead. Reliably detecting the presence of lead in a substance generally requires scientific testing or at least the use of specialized lead testing kits. This supposed "test" seems to be a corrupted version of the
ancient touchstone method of testing the purity of gold by examining the streak left when gold was scraped against a dark stone. Clearly, instructions for conducting this fake test were only included in the email to trick recipients into believing its claims.
Thus the information in this email is highly misleading and inaccurate and it should not be forwarded to others as is.
That said, a
recent study by The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics indicates that some lipsticks do contain small amounts of lead. Although the results of this study are cause for concern, they in no way vindicate the misinformation contained in this email forward. Stacy Malkan, a cofounder of the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics is genuinely concerned about the findings of the study. However, an
article on the issue notes:
Malkan said that lead in lipstick is a valid concern, borne out by the campaign's tests. But she dismissed the cancer scare and a suggestion that consumers can test for lead by scratching lipstick with a gold ring.
In fact, lead is common element in our environment and we are likely to be exposed to it everyday from a variety of sources. The potential danger is that the tiny amounts of lead contained in some lipsticks could accumulate along with other lead sources and eventually cause health issues.
References:
FDA/CFSAN Cosmetics - Information for Industry
The CTPA :The Cosmetic Toiletry Perfumery Association :Cosmetic legislation
European Commission: Cosmetics and Medical Devices - Introduction
FDA: General specifications for straight colors
Walter Reed Army Medical Center website
COSMETIC TOILETRY & FRAGRANCES ASSOCIATION:Lead and Cosmetics (PDF FILE AVAILABLE)
Touchstone
WHAT'S THAT STUFF?: Lipstick
Cancer Help: Lead in lipstick causing cancer
Lead Poisoning - NSC
FDA/CFSAN FDA Consumer: Dangers of Lead Still Linger
EPA Consumer Factsheet on: LEAD
Lead tests raise red flag for lipsticks
Use Left Ear For Mobile Phone Hoax
I first began receiving submissions about this factually dubious "health warning" message (see example below)in late 2005. The warning, which travels via email, blogs and online forum posts, claims that mobile phone users should only use the left ear for making calls, supposedly to lessen the effects of exposure to cell phone radiation. The message attempts to convince readers that using the right ear for mobile calls can directly damage the brain and it is therefore wiser to favour the left ear. Like other such warnings, the message does not include any external references to support its claims.
Not surprisingly, I have found no evidence to confirm the claims outlined in the message. The message includes a diagrammatical image apparently intended to add a degree of credibility to the information. Ironically however, the diagram has no direct relevance to the spurious claim that using the left ear is preferable to using the right. Although the subject matter of this infographic does relate to possible dangers from mobile phone radiation, a closer examination reveals that it makes no reference at all to using the left ear in preference to the right.
A small amount of web research based on the source information included on the graphic revealed that it was
first published in June 2002 by the
Graphics News website. The diagram simply summarizes in graphical form the findings of a study (
see reference list for for pdf link) by scientists at Finland's
Radiation and Nuclear Safety Authority. A
2002 BBC news report offers more information about this study. The report notes that:
Scientists from the Radiation and Nuclear Safety Authority found that exposing human cells to mobile phone radiation damaged the blood-brain barrier - a safety barrier in the body that stops harmful substances in blood from entering the brain.
However, the report makes clear that the tests were carried out on human cells under precise laboratory conditions and at the time the report was published it was not known if the findings actually equated to genuine health concerns for phone users. Moreover, neither the Radiation and Nuclear Safety Authority study nor the BBC report mention anything about which ear, if any, is the safest to use.
Almost since the invention of the devices, there has been a
long running debate about the possible health effects of mobile phone use. A number of reports have raised authentic concerns about possible health risks from mobile phone radiation. However, no credible information that I have seen mentions any correlation between increased health risks and the habitual use of the right ear for mobile calls.
The message claims that the information is "a true fact from Apollo medical team" (as opposed, apparently, to a "false fact"

). However, I could find no information about an "Apollo medical team" other than references to the hoax message itself. If the information in the message had any validity, then the group that conducted the research would undoubtedly have published its findings via credible media such as scientific journals and medical websites. Thus, if the "Apollo medical team" was a real entity that actually did conduct a study about mobile phone radiation, then research should reveal at least some information about the team and its work. I suspect that the "Apollo medical team" reference was added to falsely imply some measure of endorsement from the
Apollo Hospitals Group in India.
This message possibly originated as some foolish individual's idea of a prank. Or, as with many other hoaxes, it may have been a deliberate attempt to spread misinformation and unnecessarily raise fear and alarm. Whatever the reason, it seems obvious that the perpetrator has used a blatant falsehood as the core claim in the message and then made a rather lame attempt to back it up by tacking on unrelated information stolen from another source.
Thus, forwarding this misleading "warning" message will serve no useful purpose. While there are real concerns about possible health risks related to mobile phone use, there is no evidence to suggest that using the left ear will in any way decrease such risks.
Reference List:
Original Source of Infographic
Graphic News - Infographics for newspapers and magazines
Radiation and Nuclear Safety Authority study: Non-thermal activation of the hsp27/p38MAPK stress pathway by mobile phone radiation in human endothelial cells (PDF download)
Radiation and Nuclear Safety Authority
Fresh fears over mobile phones
Wikipedia: Mobile phone radiation and health
Apollo Hospitals Group
An example of the hoax email:
A warning from the FRNS
ALWAYS USE LEFT EAR FOR MOBILE PHONES
Please use left ear while using cell (mobile), because if you use the right one it will affect brain directly. This is a true fact from Apollo medical team. Please forward to all your well wishers
Spirit Airlines Flight Giveaway Hoax
This forwarded email message began circulating in December 2005 and claims that Spirit Airlines is giving away free air travel to those who forward the message to at least five people. However, the claim is totally unfounded. In fact this message is simply the latest rehash of earlier hoaxes that targeted different airlines. During 2003, a
similar hoax attempted to convince email recipients that British Airways was offering free flights. In October 2005, an
almost identical message claimed that Delta Airlines was the company offering free air travel.
There is nothing about this supposed promotion on the
Spirit Airlines website. Also the claim that the airline has filed for bankruptcy
appears to be unfounded.
It is highly unlikely that an airline or any other legitimate company would base a promotional giveaway on how many times an email message was forwarded. Any email that makes such a claim is almost certainly a hoax.
Like its predecessors, the hoax makes the absurd claim that the email is being tracked in some way. However, there is simply no reliable way for an individual email message to be tracked over potentially thousands of forwards. Furthermore, even if it were possible, it is very doubtful that any ethical company would engage in such a practice.
There have been many bogus emails that try to convince recipients that a particular email is being tracked. Messages that make such claims invariable prove to be pure nonsense and they should not be taken seriously.
References:
Delta Air Lines Free Flight Hoax Email
British Airways Giveaway Hoax
Sophos: Spirit Airlines Free Flight
Spirit Airlines Website
Spirit Airlines plans pay cuts of up to 20 percent for its 138 mechanics
An example of the hoax email:
CHECK THIS OUT!!! SPIRIT AIRLINES E-MAIL PROMOTION
Share this info:
I contacted the Spirit public relations office - THIS IS REAL!!!!!!
Due to the recent news regarding our Bankruptcy, the number of passengers flying Spirit Airlines has fallen dramatically.
We at Spirit Airlines have launched a media campaign which aims to fill our aircrafts once again.
A part of this campaign is direct email advertising. This is where YOU come in!
Spirit Airlines, along with MessageLabs Email Security System are tracking this email,and for every 5 people you forward this to, you will receive a one-way flight to any destination in the continental U.S.
Send this email to 10 people and you are eligible to fly ANYWHERE in in the continental U.S round trip!
Simple as that! However, that only catch is you MUST travel BEFORE June 25th 2006.
You will be contacted via email within 5 working days for your full contact information and booking details.
Please visit Spirit Air for a full set of rules and regulations
Note: one flight per person per family.
Promotion Account # 0025871
No Abate in Phishing Scams
During 2005, phishing was one of the most common types of
Internet scam and this trend looks set to continue in 2006. Many
high profile companies and financial entities have been targeted
almost continually.
Phishing scam messages arrive in many different forms and target
many different institutions. However, all phishing scam emails
share the same basic purpose, that is, to trick the unwary or
inexperienced into supplying sensitive personal information.
Typically, the potential victim receives an unsolicited email
that has supposedly been sent by a well-known institution or
financial entity. The email may look very "official" and include
seemingly legitimate logos, trademarks and links. The email will
appear to be an official request for information from the
targeted institution. However, the message is a lie and its sole
purpose is to coerce the recipient into clicking on a link
provided, ostensibly to access the institution's website.
This website will be a fraudulent copy of the original. Once
there, the victim will be prompted to login to his or her account
and provide information such as bank account numbers, credit card
numbers, address details and more. Login usernames and passwords
and any other information entered on this fake site can be
collected by the scammers and used to hijack the account and /or
commit identity theft. Unfortunately, victims may not realize
that their information has been stolen until it is too late.
The above scenario describes a typical phishing scam. However,
there are other variations as well. Some scam emails may try to
trick recipients into installing a trojan that will subsequently
allow scammers to collect data from the infected computer.
Others request that recipients fill in and submit a form included
within the email itself.
I have noticed that phishing scams have become more and more
sophisticated over the last year or so. Early scams were rather
crude and could often be identified by very poor spelling and
grammar and an unprofessional appearance. However, later scams
are not so easy to spot. The scam emails that are now being
distributed may be formatted in such a way that they look almost
the same as genuine messages from the targeted institution.
Spelling and grammar may be of a standard that one would expect
in an official request message. To further add to the illusion,
while the main link in the message will open the fake website,
secondary links in the messages may lead to the institution's
genuine web pages. Moreover, the fake websites themselves often
resemble the genuine institution site down to the smallest
detail. These bogus websites are virtually identical in
appearance to the genuine article and it is not surprising that
so many people are tricked into handing over their personal
information.
The criminals who run these scams have honed their skills
substantially since the first unsophisticated phishing scam
emails began hitting inboxes. And they continually add to their
bulging bag of dirty tricks.
The increasingly important role that the Internet plays in
business and in our daily lives means that scammers continue to
enjoy a fertile environment in which to ply their trade. It is
therefore vitally important that all computer users make
themselves aware of how phishing and other common scams work.
This article only covers the basics. However, I have provided
more comprehensive information about phishing on the Hoax-Slayer
website. This information includes a number of phishing scam
examples and links to other anti-phishing resources. If you
would like to find out more about how phishing scams work and how
to protect yourself from them, I strongly recommend that you take
a few minutes to increase your knowledge of the subject by
following the link below:
And remember, even if you're already up to speed on the nefarious
ways of the rogues and the phishers, you might be able to help
educate another computer user. See the next article for more...
You CAN Make a Difference!
I believe that every computer user can play an important role in
helping to make the Internet a safer place. Thousands of new
computer users are joining the Internet every day and these
people are especially vulnerable to scams and computer security
threats. As well, even experienced users may have dangerous gaps
in their knowledge that can cause problems for themselves and
other users.
Help Thwart Scammers
Naturally, with regard to Internet scams, prevention is much
better than any cure. And the key to prevention is simply
education. You can help to thwart scammers by:
- Making sure that you understand how common Internet scams work.
- Helping to educate others about these Internet scams.
Preventing someone from becoming a victim of scammers might be as
simple as ensuring your friends and neighbours are aware of
common scam tactics. Don't assume that they already know about
such scams! Fraud victim statistics reveal that many thousands of
people in all areas of the world simply have no idea. To help
get you started, I have included an article on the Hoax-Slayer
website that provides an overview of common Internet scams. Feel
free to copy the article and send it via email, include it on
your website, blog, discussion group or newsletter, print copies
of it to give to your friends or include it in paper
publications.
You can access the article via the link below:
Make Sure Your Own Computer is Secure
Unfortunately, there are millions of computers around the world
that run virtually unprotected from hackers, viruses, spyware and
all manner of other nasties. This impinges on us all, even those
of who make every effort to run our systems securely. Therefore,
I believe it is the responsibility of every computer user to
ensure that his or her computer runs as securely as possible.
Ironically, setting up and maintaining a secure computer system
is not exceedingly difficult or expensive. In fact, with the
right information on hand, it is well within the grasp of even
relatively inexperienced computer users.
A great way to take total control of your computer security is
to get a copy of The Hackers Nightmare. This terrific eBook
provides a very comprehensive, step-by-step guide to securing
your computer and practicing safe and efficient computing.
You can read my full review of The Hacker's Nightmare here:
Help Hoax-Slayer
You can also help me to continue to spread the word about scams
and hoaxes by supporting the Hoax-Slayer website.
You can increase the reach of the information I provide by
recommending this newsletter to a friend. Click the link below
for details:
You can also support Hoax-Slayer directly by making a financial
contribution of any amount. To make a contribution, follow the
link below:
If you help even one friend avoid being ripped-off by Internet
scammers, you have struck a genuine blow against the dark side.
If you lessen the impact of viruses and cyber criminals by
running a secure computer, then you have made the Internet just
that little bit safer and more productive.
Together, we really CAN make a difference!
PF Lens - See Through Clothing Camera Warning
At first blush, this rather breathless warning (see example
below) sounds like a classic leg-pull.
However, cameras with
lenses that can "see through" clothing do in fact exist. PF or "pass filters" are real lens and they could indeed be used to take compromising photographs of people without their knowledge in some circumstances. Even several years ago, voyeurs apparently adapted the low light functionality in some cameras to capture clandestine "see through" images. A 2001
news report on cooltech.iafrica.com notes that:
Voyeurism is reaching new heights as voyeurs get smarter, and the latest tool helping them is a simple Sony nightvision camera, with a few modifications, of course. When used during the day, with a special filter attached, the cameras are able to see through clothing and reveal people as they were not intended to be revealed.
More recent reports indicate that a
new low light add-on intended for mobile phone cameras can also be misused to take compromising photographs:
When attached to a high-end camera, the device can give the effect of seeing through some garments - it depends on how easily infrared can penetrate the fabric in question - and is reportedly particularly effective on dark bikinis.
While technically possible under certain conditions, I have so far found no evidence to suggest that the invasive practice described in this rather alarmist email is as common as implied. Although such tactics are possible, I feel that the email exaggerates the potential threat. Even with the specialist lenses, I doubt that capturing a usable "nude" image would be as simple as taking random snapshots of passers-by. For shots to be "effective" potential victims would most probably need to be already wearing sheer or skimpy attire and be more or less posing for the camera. However, given the very rapid developments in technology that characterizes our times, more effective "see through" cameras may be just around the corner.
Certainly, you should be quite wary of camera wielding strangers who seem intent on taking more than casual snapshots of your person. And of course, the unscrupulous or the perverted can misuse cameras that do not even have specialist "see through" capabilities. Mobile phone and digital cameras are becoming ubiquitous and have already been used to capture indecent images in change rooms and children's playgrounds.
The links below should provide further information for those who wish to explore this issue more thoroughly:
References:
R Pass Filters Experiment
Peeping Tom filter lets phones see through bikinis
Advanced Intelligence COLOR X-RAY VISION
Introduction to the see through technology
Peeping Tom's Paradise
New thermal cameras show the world in infrared
An example of the hoax email:
Subject: Fw: PF See Thru Len
This email is to be circulated for all girls and ladies - MUST READ!!!
Hi lady friends,
The next time when you see someone (stranger) using a Digital Video Cam or Digital Camera pointing at you, don't think you are pretty and gorgeous.
You are in danger in fact!! You might land yourself as a "starring" or "porn actress" in the XXX web-sites showing your naked body all over the world unawared. There are many pervert people doing this currently.
Don't think they are just tourists or reporters. Please be awakened and alert when you are doing shopping in Big Malls, Airports, LRT Stations, Cinemas, Beaches, Hotels so forth.......!!!!
Nowadays, technology in using high-tech cameras fixed with a type of
lens called PF LENS, which can see through clothings. The PF LENS is able to see through most types of clothes, for example, thin clothes, tight clothes, sun dresses,
swimsuits and so forth. Be awared that this means that the person taking a snap on you can actually see your naked body both "upper & underpart" through the external garment.
In other words, the PF Lens allows the camera man to "see through"
someone's clothes.
Suggest that whenever you suspect some strangers holding a camera or
Digicam pointing at you, try to avoid facing him (face to face).
Quickly use your handbag or any shopping bags in hand to cover your whole front
body (in case), Next, escape from the scene as soon as possible. This
is to save a situation from landing yourself into the hands of evil. Recently, many girls and housewives' naked photo were vastly distributed in the internet websites without them knowing. Perverts intentionally move around places where ladies usually frequent and took their nude shots.
Imagine, one day your male friend come to you and tell you, he saw your naked pose in the web, how are you to face the situation????? Please take this as something very important and don't take this lightly in order to save a shameful and distress situation.....!!!!!!
Finally, If you are concern with many of your good lady friends, please make an effort to forward this message to them so that they are also saved from being victims of those perverts preying around them unawared...!!!
Panadol Extra Kidney Damage Warning Hoax
This bogus message warns recipients that a shipment of Panadol Extra has been altered due to heat exposure. According to the message, taking even one capsule of Panadol Extra - Batch No: 050292 may damage the person's kidneys. The information first began circulating in January 2006 as a mobile phone text message in the Middle East. Predictably, it has now migrated to email and "escaped" into cyberspace. The "warning" has been posted on various blogs and online message boards.
However, the company that manufactures Panadol Extra has denied the information in the message. Panadol is a common paracetamol-based pain reliever that is sold in many countries around the world.
A press release included on the
GlaxoSmithKline (GSK) website states in part:
Recent unfounded rumours and incorrect information have reached our consumers through news channels and telephone text messaging in the Middle East questioning the safety of Panadol Extra batch number 050292.
After retesting by independent and GSK laboratories, the company has informed the governments of the Middle / Near East (Saudi Arabia, UAE) and the neighbouring region (Pakistan, Sri Lanka) that the batch in question (050292) conforms to the established safety and purity requirements for paracetamol, as do all batches of Panadol products. They are deemed to be safe and effective when used as advised on the pack and the insert leaflet
An article on the
Arab News website confirms that the rumour is untrue. According to the article:
"The Ministry of Health Central Laboratory in KSA and GlaxoSmithKline Laboratory in UK have conducted laboratory analysis, and both confirm the safety of the product," the company said, adding that the batch meets the "high quality and registered standards for Panadol Extra; the product is genuine and can be safely used be consumers."
Like numerous similar hoaxes, this one provides no checkable references that might confirm its spurious claims. The message maintains that the warning was included in a "local news paper". However, the name or location of the newspaper is not named. Searches of news outlets reveal no mention of the story other than articles that dismiss it as unfounded.
Thus this message should not be taken seriously. When taken as directed,
paracetamol is a safe and effective product for relieving mild to moderate pain. However, it should be noted that paracetamol, like many other medications,
can be dangerous if abused. An
overdose of paracetamol could cause liver damage and, in some cases, kidney damage as well.
Given that the information in the message is invalid, it should not be distributed to others. Sending on this misinformation will do nothing other than raise unnecessary concern among recipients.
References:
GlaxoSmithKline: 2006 News Archive
Arab News: Manufacturer Claims Panadol Extra Is Safe
BUPA: Paracetamol
Tests confirm that GSK's Panadol is safe for consumers
An example of the hoax email:
Panadol Extra
Today in the local news paper there is warning not to purchase "Panadol Extra - Batch No.: 050292". This Panadol shipment has been exposed in the heated area at W/H, if the person takes one capsule it will affect his kidney and may damage it. Take care.
The original code # is 050208. Please share with everyone you know.
Very Important:
DO NOT take panadol unless you really need it and the pain is too much, because panadol has effects on the liver functions.
Take care
Please send it to your friends.
Summer Chain Email - Blond Hair And Blood Shot Eyes
This very nasty chain letter apparently targets children and adolescents. There is not much that needs to be said about this vile trash….except that it should certainly not be sent to others.
Of course, there is no truth in the ridiculous notion that a dead person will appear under the recipient's bed if he or she does not send the message to 15 people within 5 minutes.
Please do not send this rubbish onward if you receive it. Even if you think sending it is harmless, remember that it may find its way to the inbox of an impressionable child. The themes of horror and violence that characterize this message could be quite distressing for children and even some adults.
If this message crosses your inbox, send it to the trash where it belongs.
An example of the chain email:
MY NAME IS SUMMER...I AM 15 YEARS OLD WITH BLONDE HAIR AND BLOOD SHOT EYES. I HAVE NO NOSE OR EARS. I AM DEAD. IF U DO NOT SEND THIS TO 15 PPL IN THE NEXT 5 MIN., I WILL APPEAR TONIGHT UNDER YOUR BED, YOU WILL HEAR ME.... AND SEE ME FOR ONLY A SECOND....... BUT WITH MY KNIFE..... I WILL KILL YOU.
THIS IS NO JOKE.......... SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO U TONIGHT AT
10:22 IF YOU SEND THIS TO 15 PPL. SOMEONE WILL CALL U OR TALK TO U
ONLINE AND SAY I LOVE U. DON'T FORWARD... COPY AND PASTE.........
THIS IS NOT A JOKE
Hoax-Slayer Humour: To all my Email buddies out there
Received via email. This more or less says it all!! (grin)
To all my Email buddies out there...
A really big 'Thank You' for 2005
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to some of you who have taken
the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12
months.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat excrement in
the glue on envelopes, because I now have to get a wet sponge
every time I seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it
can remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi since the people who make these products
are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
I no longer use plastic wrap in the microwave because it causes
cancer of the toenail.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell
like a turd on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me
with a dodgy after-shave sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from nor send packages as the
posties are actually Al Quaeda operatives in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial
a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica,
Uganda, Singapore, and lower Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually
horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have any sandshoes -- but that will change once I
receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have
363,214 angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers
if I forward an email to seven of my e-mail friends and make a
wish within five minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick boy who
is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and Yahoo are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail tracking program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me, that I
will now want to return the favour!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144 people in the next
10 minutes, an oversized pigeon with a truly wicked case of
diarrhoea will land (and gleefully unload) on your head at 5:00
PM (Daylight saving time) this afternoon. I know this will occur
because it actually happened to a friend of my next-door
neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's
hairdresser.
.... So THERE!
Thank You Again. Have a great day!
And don't forget to forward this to stop any evil things
happening to your nether regions and what not .
The Hoax_Slayer Newsletter is published by:
Brett M.Christensen
Queensland, Australia
All Rights Reserved
©Brett M. Christensen, 2008
Questions or Comments