Kevin Rudd Fire the Cattle Guards Hoax

Outline
Message claims that, upon hearing that there were over 10,000 "cattle guards" in NSW & Queensland, then Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd ordered that half of the "guards" be fired immediately because he mistakenly assumed that the cattle guards were actually human guards rather than simply steel grate devices placed on roadways to restrict the movement of cattle and other livestock.



Brief Analysis
The claims in the message are untrue. In fact, the story is just an Australian version of an old joke that has previously been used to target several American political figures, including Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, George Bush and others.

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Last updated: 2nd July 2010
First published: 2nd July 2010
Article written by Brett M. Christensen
About Brett Christensen and Hoax-Slayer

Example


Detailed Analysis

©iStockphoto.com/Robyn Mackenzie Cattle guards, which are called cattle grids in Australia are simple devices used to block livestock on rural roadways

This entertaining little story supposedly exposes the foolishness and telling lack of insight displayed by our political leaders, in this case Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard. According to the story, when he was informed that there were more than 10,000 "cattle guards" in the Australian states of Queensland and NSW, then Prime Minister Kevin Rudd ordered that half of these "guards" should be fired immediately, supposedly in retaliation for grazier opposition to government policy changes. The story then claims that Minister for Employment Julia Gillard (now Prime Minister) suggested that the "guards" should be retrained for six months before being fired.

Of course, the "cattle guards" that the Prime Minister was supposedly intent on dismissing, are in fact not human workers at all, but instead simple steel grate devices that are used in rural areas around the world to control the movement of cattle and other livestock. The devices are used instead of gates on many rural roads. Livestock are usually unwilling to attempt to cross the grates, so the integrity of the fence is maintained without the need for drivers to stop to open and close gates.

However, while it may be entertaining, there is no truth to the story whatsoever. In fact, the story is just an Australian version of an old prank message that has been aimed at several American political figures over a number of years. A popular US version of the hoax targets President Obama and congresswoman Nancy Pelosi :

Administration Follies (IDIOT'S)

AND THESE PEOPLE ARE RUNNING THE COUNTRY??

For those who have never traveled to the great West, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings on highways to prevent cattle from crossing. For some reason the bovines will not step on the guards, probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails. We need to make that clear in order for everyone to appreciate the following story.

President Obama received a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado. Because Colorado ranchers protested his proposed changes in grazing policies; he ordered Secretary of Interior Ken Salazar to fire half of the guards immediately.

Before Salazar could respond, and presumably straighten him out, California's congresswoman Nancy Pelosi intervened with a request that before any were fired they be given six months of retraining.

A 1990's version targeted then President Bill Clinton along with congresswoman Pat Schroeder:

For those who have never traveled to the great West, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings on Hi-ways to prevent cattle from crossing. For some reason the bovines will not step on the guards, probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails. I need to make that clear in order for everyone to appreciate the following TRUE story.

President Clinton received a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado. Because Colorado ranchers protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, he ordered Secretary of Interior Bruce Babbitt to fire half of the guards immediately. Before Babbitt could respond, and presumably straighten him out, Colorado's congresswoman Pat Schroeder intervened with a request that before any were fired they be given six months of retraining!!

And they get paid to do this!!!!!!

Yet another version made former President Bush the butt of the joke. In an unusual twist, it appears that President Bush liked to tell the joke himself, perhaps because he was once the target of it. A March 15, 2005 article in the Washington Post notes:

Richard Leiby writes in The Washington Post: "A joke President Bush told recently in Montana struck several readers as very familiar when it was recounted in yesterday's Style section. In Bush's telling, the joke involved a city slicker asking for directions in Livingston and being told to look for two 'cattle guards.' Now, everyone in cowboy country knows a cattle guard is a metal grate that keeps livestock from straying. But this fellow is so clueless, he asks: 'Hey, what color uniforms do those cattle guards have on?'

"In 1978, when Dubya was running for Congress in Texas, the very same joke was on him."

And, in fact, the story has circulated for many years purely as a joke that is not directed at any particular political leader. The joke was included in James Hoy's 1982 book, "The cattle guard: its history and lore":

A woman stopped to ask him how she and her party could view the major sights of the park in the least amount of time. Walker gave them directions, beginning with the phrase, "Go down to the first cattle guard and take a left turn." The woman repeated his instructions down to "the first cattle guard," at which point she asked, "Will he be wearing the same uniform as you are?"

Thus, neither the US leaders featured in earlier versions of the hoax nor the Australian leaders targeted in this variant actually made the dumb mistake that has been attributed to them in this old joke. A fatal flaw for the Australian version of the joke is that Australians refer to the devices as "cattle grids" rather than "cattle guards". Of course, the prankster who decided to create the Australian variant of the story was obligated to go with the American terminology since calling the devices "grids", immediately renders the joke meaningless and unfunny.



References
Bush on Cattle Guards
Fake News Gets White House OK
The cattle guard: its history and lore

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Last updated: 2nd July 2010
First published: 2nd July 2010
Article written by Brett M. Christensen
About Brett Christensen and Hoax-Slayer

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