William Hung Is Not Dead
Emailed "News story" claims that American Idol celebrity, William Hung, is dead from an intentional drug overdose.
(Received via email, July 2004)
Subject: Fwd: William Hung Dead!!!
Las Vegas, NV - Kitschy American Idol Star William Hung, famous
for his botching of Ricky Martin's "She Bangs," was found dead
yesterday, apparently of an intentional heroin overdose. The
announcement of his death sent shockwaves to the tens of people
who still found him funny.
Ironically, Mr. Hung was found by a VH1 camera crew sent to begin
filing "William Hung: Behind the 'Music.'" Viacom immediately
decided to rename the special: "William Hung: fifteen minutes
Friends of Mr. Hung say he had become despondent in recent days.
"I don't know, it's just so sad," said Ming Tse, one of Hung's
former classmates at Stanford, "I heard him the other day on
Snotbubble's Morning Madhouse; he kept trying to make William
say things like 'me so horny' and 'hey sailor' while playing
the sound of a bomb falling. I just know William was hurting
inside when Snotbubble got him to say, 'you wanna some-e egg
foo young-e.' It was so sad. I just think he was tired of the
commercialization of it all."
Other friends, who had lost contact with him in recent weeks,
feared he was becoming too "Hollywood." "I'm not surprised he
was on heroin," said Hung's engineering cohort Melvin Samples,
"I mean just two months ago we were out at our usual corner
table at Smitty's, and William actually went and talked to
some girls. The next thing I know he's doing shots with some
hipster guys; they were calling him 'Long Duck Dong' and making
him say 'au-to-mo-bile.' From what I hear, it's not a long leap
from that to heroin addiction."
Stanford's hippy population immediately misconstrued the
situation and adopted Hung's death as a pet cause. "He was a
victim of the corporate greed-machine, just like Kurt [Cobain]
and Eddie [Vedder, who is actually still alive]," said one
dreadlocked mourner outside the engineering department at
Stanford University, where a makeshift memorial had been set up,
"he just wanted to sing, and Fox decided to turn him into this
joke, man, this f****** joke. They just ate him up and spit him
out. F****** Bill O'Reily. I think it's because he was against
the war." The last comment is apparently in reference to the
fact that Hung once answered "no, thank you" when asked whether
he was "for or against the war in Iraq."
The Las Vegas police released part of his suicide note. It read,
"I have no reason of living . . . my art which is my importance
to the best everybody laugh to . . . I make end here . . .
goodbye world of cruel."
Although Hung's immediate family disowned him seconds after his
appearance on American Idol, it is believed he has an aunt in
Toledo, Ohio who will take care of funeral arrangements.
A false news-story involving the death of American Idol celebrity
William Hung is currently circulating. The story claims that Mr
Hung "was found dead yesterday, apparently of an intentional
heroin overdose". The story is being passed around via email
and has generated a lot of discussion among those who frequent
online message boards.
In fact, Mr Hung is alive and well. This rumour started from a
Broken Newz. Although it resembles a real news story, it is a complete fabrication
apparently in the name of entertainment. Personally, I find
this sort of satire in poor taste.
The following quote is from the Broken Newz "About" page:
Broken Newz is a satire news and entertainment site. All names,
except when public figures are being satirized due to their own
stupidity, are made up and purely coincidental if connected in
any way. The stories listed on this site are not real (really).
These are strange days indeed! William Hung has become something
of a celebrity because of a decided lack
of musical talent
rather than the reverse. Mr Hung even has his own website
! I'm very glad to hear that the likeable
gentleman is still with us. I just wish he'd stick to singing
in the shower rather than in public (grin).
Write-up by Brett M. Christensen